


Come Over

by firstdegreefangirl



Series: Come Over [1]
Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Basically Kevin is a BAMF, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Grocery Store Altercation, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Moving In Together, No One Actually Does Though, Panic Attacks, Running Away, Self-Esteem Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, That's a small part but one of my favorites, rescue romance, so is Connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-11 01:24:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7870099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstdegreefangirl/pseuds/firstdegreefangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Connor runs away from home at Kevin's urging. Together, they work through the mess that is Connor's life and their relationship.</p><p>**TW: Pretty severe homophobia, mentions of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This picks up two or three years after the boys get back from Uganda, but timeline isn't terribly important. I know that the show doesn't establish much about Connor's parents, but I'm assuming based on his attitude that they wouldn't have been super accepting of his sexuality. 
> 
> I'm posting this all at once, but it's in multiple chapters for the sake of continuity. Additionally, this is marked as part of a series, but the only part of this 'verse so far. There's definitely potential for me to expand this, but who knows?
> 
> I own nothing but a MacBook and some dreams. Wrote this a while ago, so I'm pretty sure I got all the tags I needed, but if you see something I missed, pleasepleaseplease let me know.
> 
> For the chapters with potential triggers, I've marked the trigger warnings at the beginning and left a summary of the chapter in the end notes that uses vague, trigger-free language to fill in plot holes.
> 
> Remember, comments and kudos are as good as warm, fuzzy blanket naps!
> 
> Enjoy!  
> xoxo

Kevin Price is extremely surprised to receive a phone call at 7:45 on a Tuesday night. Of course, he’s more surprised that the phone call is from his fellow ex-missionary and close friend, Connor McKinley. When they returned from Uganda, Kevin got an apartment on the outskirts of Salt Lake City. He lives about an hour from where Connor moved back in with his parents. Connor came out, and it was rocky at first, but lately he and his family seemed to be working things out.

They stayed in touch with the other Elders, sending cards at birthdays and Christmas, but are in near constant communication with each other. Texting, Facebook, they’ve recently started using Snapchat to send dorky selfies. But the one thing they don’t do is talk on the phone, hence Kevin’s worry.

He answers on the second ring. “Connor?”

“I can’t take it anymore, Kevin. I can’t do this. I can’t keep doing this.”

“Con? Hey, you’re really scaring me. Slow down for a second and start at the beginning, yeah?” He hears Connor take a deep, shuddery breath.

“I cooked dinner tonight. Roasted a chicken, handmade the bread, all of it. I figured it’d be something nice. We were just starting to fall back into things. I even made a cake for dessert. I’ll send you a picture, it’s such a good cake.”

Kevin chuckles. Of course Connor would pause his mental breakdown to discuss the integrity of the cake he baked. “And?”

“And we ate and it was good and I brought the cake out and my- my dad-“ Connor takes another deep breath. “He flipped out. Started yelling and screaming and- and he said that no son of his would bake cakes, even if he was a- a fa-“ Connor just can’t get it out.

“It’s OK, Con. Skip over it.”

“Even if he was a--. Kevin, he said he wished I’d never been born, not if I was gonna turn out like this. What if he’s right?”

“No, don’t talk like that, Connor. He isn’t right. Connor, you are wonderful and- and so special.” Kevin really doesn’t know how to make this better, but he has an idea. “Come over.”

“What?”

“You still have your suitcase?”

“Yeah.” Connor sounds a little less panicky now, but more confused than ever.

“Pack it.”

“How many clothes do I need?”

“No, Connor. Not with clothes. We can share, and I have an extra toothbrush. Pack the stuff that matters. The stuff you’d take in a fire. Grab your favorite book and anything special. Where’s the nearest Walmart? I’ll meet you.”

“It’s about 20 minutes walk.”

“Good. That’s not too far. I’ll be there in an hour.”

“Do I tell them I’m leaving?”

“Up to you, Con. You’re 24, they can’t do anything. If it were me, I’d let them know you’re safe once you’re back here.”

“Alright. Thanks, Kevin.”

“Hey, anytime.” Kevin hangs up and stares at the phone, letting out a long breath. _How could Connor’s parents do that to him? He’s nothing but good._ He puts on his shoes and grabs his keys, locking the door on the way out.


	2. Chapter 2

Salt Lake City isn’t difficult to navigate. Kevin picks up the highway and drives. The only thing going faster than his car is his mind. Kevin doesn’t want Connor to have to wait, to have to believe for even a second that he won’t be there. _If his parents aren’t going to be there for him, someone has to._

Meanwhile, Connor is standing in his room, trying to decide which of his possessions are valuable enough to take with him. He’s acutely aware that this is likely to be the last time he’s here, and he isn’t entirely sure that’s a bad thing. So far, he’s packed his copies of _The Book of Arnold_ , _Fahrenheit 451_ , and _The Fault in Our Stars_. He looks at his Book of Mormon, reaches for it, hesitates.

It stays on the shelf.

Hair products, the teddy bear he’s had his whole life, the VHS copy of _The Little Mermaid_ that he treasures, and he’s on his way. It’s almost as an afterthought that he packs his photo albums and the framed picture off of his dresser.

Five people, standing in a neat row, the Chicago skyline in the background. A mother, a father and three kids, all varying heights but all the spitting image of one another. Everyone looks happy. They don’t look like that anymore.

Connor grabs a notebook and pen and sits down to write.

 

_Mom—_

_I’ve found a place to stay. If this is how you’re all going to treat me, I’m not sticking around. I’m safe, promise. Thanks for everything over the years._

_Connor_

He draws a big, loopy heart with his name, his signature style. The note goes on his bed and he pulls the window open. Never before has Connor been so grateful for his first-floor bedroom; it means that he can set the suitcase out the window without dropping it, and that he doesn’t have to jump. Connor hits the sidewalk, pillow under one arm, suitcase in the other hand.

He doesn’t look back.

* * *

Kevin beats Connor to Walmart. He knew he would, he planned to, but it doesn’t stop him from worrying. As soon at he kills the engine in his ratty Corolla, there’s nothing to keep his mind from wandering. _What if he changed his mind? What if he got hurt or something on his way? What if he told his parents he was going and they didn’t let him? What if they hurt him?_

He continues down this line until a sharp knock on the window tears him from his thoughts. Kevin opens the trunk and gets out of the car.

“Connor, oh my gosh. I was so worried.” Kevin puts the bag and pillow in the trunk and turns toward Connor. He isn’t really sure what comes next; they’re definitely past handshakes, but would a hug be too forward?

Connor answers that question by stepping forward to stiffly hug him. As soon as Kevin wraps his arms around the other man, he crumbles into Kevin’s chest. He’s crying before he realizes it, but when he tries to pull out of the hug, Kevin holds him closer. Connor realizes that he’s whispering to him.

“Hey, you’re alright. Let’s get out of here, yeah?” Connor nods into Kevin’s chest and reluctantly lets go. He climbs into the passenger seat as Kevin starts the engine back up.

Neither of them says anything until they’re back on the highway, heading toward Kevin’s apartment. Finally, Connor sighs heavily and breaks the silence.

“Thanks. For, for coming to rescue me. And for being there, Kev”

“Hey, how could I let you stay there knowing that was going on? Connor, you needed out and we both know you wouldn’t have left if no one told you to.” Connor sniffles.

“Um, so, how is this going to work, like legally? Change of address and everything? I mean, I didn’t have much going on back there, no job or anything, but I know I’ll still need to-“ Kevin cuts him off by reaching over to lay a hand on his knee.

“No. We aren’t worrying about that tonight. Tonight is easy. Tonight is just a sleepover. Connor, I’m not saying we should hide from the reality of this, but for tonight, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“Okay.”

“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you. Just, let’s get you settled in and make sure this is really gonna stick before we do anything permanent.”

“What do you mean ‘really gonna stick’? Kevin, are you going to make me leave?”

“What? No, Connor, no. You’re welcome as long as you want to be here. But I don’t want to tie you down. If you don’t want to stay, I’m not going to make you.” Connor puts his hand over Kevin’s on his knee.

“I want to stay.” Connor might be imagining it, but he thinks he sees Kevin relax when he says that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is way longer, but it needed to be because plot. Also, this chapter in particular deals with pretty explicit homophobia, suicidal thoughts and thoughts of self harm, even though no one does anything. If this is an issue for you, skip to the bottom and I'll leave a quick summary down there!
> 
> xoxo

The rest of the ride back to Kevin’s is filled with idle small talk. They don’t have much to catch up on, and Kevin is careful to avoid making Connor talk about his personal life. It isn’t until he’s pulling into his building that he glances over at Connor and speaks.

“So, I’ve only got a one-bedroom, but I can take the couch for a couple nights if you want—“

“Kevin, it’s fine. I can sleep pretty much wherever. I’m not gonna put you out.”

“Alright, if you’re sure …”

“I am.” Connor hauls his suitcase out of the trunk and wheels it behind Kevin up the stairs to the third-floor walkup. Once they’re through the door, Connor sits down on the couch, curling into a corner. Kevin takes a seat on the other corner and smiles an artificially bright smile.

“So, shall we watch a movie? I’ve got a pretty extensive Disney collection.”

“Kevin, I think we need to talk. We can’t avoid this forever.” Connor knows that Kevin wants to let this particular discussion until, well, never, but they can’t do that.

Kevin drops his façade and shifts to sit facing Connor on the couch. “If you want to talk, I’m here to listen. D’you want some tea or something?”

“Not right now, thanks. Listen, you have no idea how much I appreciate you coming to get me tonight. I really don’t know how I would have survived staying there. Kevin, my own father told me he wished I wasn’t alive. Do you have any idea how much that hurts?”

“No, I don’t, and I’m so sorry that you have to. Con, you’re scaring me again. What do you mean you ‘don’t know how you would have survived’? Were you going to …” Kevin can’t get the words out. “Be honest with me.”

“It… crossed my mind.” Kevin’s eyes widen with Connor’s confession. “I don’t—I don’t know if I actually would have, but when he said that, I couldn’t help thinking he might be right.” Connor looks down at his lap, refusing eye contact. His voice shakes as he continues. “Kevin, I don’t think I can go back there.”

“You don’t have to.” Kevin responds firmly, leaning forward slightly. “Did you let them know you were leaving?”

“Not really. There’s a note on my bed for them. It’s not like they’ll worry about me. They don’t care.”

“Connor, I wish I could tell you that weren’t true. But I can tell you that even if they don’t care, I do. And I know Arnold does, and Poptarts, and the other Elders from the mission. Even if those four people don’t care, there are so, so many who do. I need you to promise me two things.”

“Hmm?”

“Promise me that you aren’t going to hurt yourself tonight. And that if you feel like you might, you’ll come wake me up.” Connor doesn’t respond. “Connor, promise me.”

“Okay. I won’t.” He speaks so softly that Kevin hardly hears him. “Promise.”

Kevin offers again to put on a movie, but Connor turns him down, choosing instead to stare blankly in front of him. It terrifies Kevin to see his friend like this. He stays up as late as he can, just being there, before he speaks again.

“Listen, I’ve gotta work at eight in the morning. I’ve got clothes you can wear. Want to make this a proper sleepover?”

“’A proper sleepover’?” Connor repeats blankly. “How?”

“We can both sleep in my bed, instead of exiling you to the sofa. It’s certainly big enough for two.” Truth be told, Kevin couldn’t care less if they share the bed, but he doesn’t want to leave Connor in the living room alone. At least if Connor’s in the room with him, Kevin will know if he gets up or anything during the night.

“Uh … sure.” Connor seems like he’d go along with jumping off of a bridge right now, if someone suggested it. Kevin regrets the thought as soon as it crosses his mind, remembering their conversation from earlier. He leads Connor down the hall to the bedroom and digs through a drawer, producing a pair of sweats and a T-shirt for each of them.

Connor is left alone for the first time since Kevin picked him up when he goes into the bathroom to change. He stares hard at his reflection in the mirror, trying to find any tiny part of himself his father might be wrong about. Tears sting at his eyes when he can’t. He’s not sure how long he’s in the bathroom, but it’s long enough that Kevin starts to worry.

“Connor?” He’s shaken from his thoughts. “Are you OK?”

“Ye-yeah. I’ll be out in a sec.” Connor changes quickly and wipes his eyes before emerging. The moment he looks at Kevin, it’s obvious Kevin knows he’s been crying. He notices Kevin trying to subtly check his wrists and flips them up in front of him.

“You were crying.” It isn’t a question. “Why?”

“He was right. Heavenly Father, he wants boys to be with girls. I’m not _normal_!” Kevin’s heart shatters as Connor starts crying again. He guides the other man to sit on the foot of the bed and squats down in front of him.

“Who cares?” When Connor looks at him incredulously, Kevin continues. “Who cares if you aren’t “normal”? Con, it would be so boring if every single person were perfectly normal. You’re you, and you’re wonderful. I don’t know how to break you out of your own head, but please, please, let me help you.”

Connor smiles weakly and sniffles. “You were doing a pretty good job there.”

“With the ‘it’s OK to be different’ stuff?” Connor nods.

“You know, Con, there’s a TV show I started watching after the mission. It’s called _The Addams Family_ and there’s a really great quote. Want to hear it?” When Connor nods again, Kevin continues. “’Normal is relative. What’s normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.’ It’s true, you know. Like coffee is normal for me now, but it’d be really strange for you to have a cup every day.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, I’ve got a shift at Target at eight in the morning. Come with and we’ll go do something after I’m off? You can hang out in the store, pick up some clothes and stuff?”

“Yeah, OK.” Connors yawns deeply and makes Kevin chuckle. “I’m kinda tired, Kev.”

“I can tell. Let’s see about getting some sleep.” They crawl under the covers, extremely careful to stay on just one half of the bed. “Oh, and Connor?”

“Hmm?”

“Get me up if you need anything. Seriously. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“Thanks, Kevin.” It’s a bold move and he knows it, but Connor reaches over and searches for the other man’s hand under the covers.

 

Kevin lets him take it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you skipped over this, that's totally OK. Here's what you missed:
> 
> Kevin takes Connor back to his apartment and they bicker over who's sleeping on the couch before deciding to share the bed. Connor fills Kevin in on some of the awful things his parents said, especially his dad, and he kind of breaks down. Kevin talks him down and suggests Connor go to work with him at Target in the morning to get some clothes and whatnot. They lie down to go to sleep and Connor reaches out to hold Kevin's hand.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning: panic attack. Summary at the bottom if you need to skip this one. Take care of yourselves.
> 
> xoxo

The next two weeks pass without much trouble. Connor picks up a job at the Payless by the Target where Kevin works. They wake up every morning, Kevin has two cups of coffee and puts another in a travel mug, Connor nurses a cup of tea while they get ready and they ride into work. Connor kills time at Target when he’s not working. He likes being close to Kevin; it’s comforting to know that he’s there if Connor needs him.

Some nights, they do takeout for dinner, but Connor’s favorites are the nights they cook. Kevin’s kitchen skills are typical of a bachelor: boxed mac-n-cheese, Hamburger Helper, frozen pizza and the like. Connor, however, takes great pride in his cooking abilities, so he’s taken to teaching Kevin how to make things like spaghetti sauce from scratch.

One Tuesday, the only day they both have off consistently thanks to the wonders of retail scheduling, Kevin looks at Connor over the pancakes they made for breakfast.

“Can I ask you a question you aren’t going to like?”

“Uhh … sure?” Connor looks up, worried.

“When will your parents be at work?” Connor’s face freezes in panic.

“Why?”

“Well, I know we bought you some stuff, but I was thinking that we could go get _your_ stuff today. Really let you move in and everything.” They’ve already talked about it, and they’ll split Kevin’s current rent for three months until his lease is up and move into a place with two bedrooms. Kevin sees the look on Connor’s face and reaches across the table to pat his arm comfortingly. “It’s OK, we don’t have to. We can make sure they won’t be there if we do go.”

“One o’clock. Mom works nine to six and dad goes in at noon. If we go at one, the kids won’t be home from school until three.”

“Alright, one o’clock it is.” They spend the morning on the couch, watching TV. Turkey sandwiches for lunch and they’re in the Corolla, driving toward Connor’s house.

_Old house_ , he reminds himself firmly. _You don’t live there anymore._

“Left, up here.” He tells Kevin. “Then it’s the fifth house on the right.”

Kevin backs into the driveway. “For a quick getaway,” he tells Connor, joking. Then, he’s totally serious. “But really, say the word and we’re outta here.”

He pretends not to notice Connor’s hands shaking as he keys in the garage code, but he reaches down to take Connor’s hand as they enter. _It’s no different than how we sleep at night_ , he tells himself, _totally platonic._  

An hour and a half later, they’re back in the car, surrounded by Connor’s clothes, books and movies. In and out of the house totally undetected, just as Kevin promised. They left another note on the bed, assuring Mrs. McKinley that the house hadn’t been robbed or anything. Connor has to admit that it’s nice to have _his_ things back.

Or, it would if he could breathe properly and stop shaking.

He tries to hide the panic attack from Kevin, but he notices anyway and turns into the parking lot of the Walmart where he rescued Connor.

“Hey, you’re okay.” Kevin kills the engine. “Just breathe for me, Con.” After another minute, when Connor is still hyperventilating, Kevin tries again. “Look at me. C’mon, in … two … three … four. Out … two … three … four. Good.” They breathe together for a couple more minutes, until Connor’s breathing regularly, albeit a bit heavily, again. Kevin isn’t sure what to do for the trembling, so on a whim he reaches out and laces his fingers with Connor’s. It seems to help some, but he’s still shaking pretty hard so Kevin starts speaking softly to him.

“Shhhhh. It’s OK, Connor. They aren’t here. It’s OK. You’re with me, I’m Kevin Price, and we’re sitting in my Toyota Corolla in the parking lot of Walmart. You haven’t had to see them in almost three weeks. It’s April 17, 2014.” Connor isn’t shaking anymore, but he’s just sitting there, stunned. “Can you tell me who the President is?”

“Thomas Monson.” Kevin stifles his laughter with a poorly disguised cough.

“You’re- you’re not wrong, But I actually meant like of the country, not the church.”

“Oh, Obama. Hey, how are you so good at this?”

“Uh, after Uganda I spent some time volunteering for a mental health crisis line. Part of our training was how to ground people when they were having-“ Kevin doesn’t’ want to call it a “panic attack” and upset Connor any further. “-issues. Basically, remind them of where they are and what’s going on. Broad, basic info to break you out of your own head.” He squeezes Connor’s hand gently.

“Oh.” It’s all Connor can say, but he squeezes back, and that’s enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kevin and Connor figure out the whole "domestic roommates" thing, and Connor gets a job at Payless. One day, Kevin suggests that they go back to Connor's old house while his family is gone and get some more of his stuff. Connor agrees and holds himself together until they leave, when he has a panic attack. Kevin talks him through it and reveals that he spent some time working for a mental health crisis line after the mission.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: Homophobia, Panic Attacks. Seriously, don't read this if it'll hurt you in any way. Summary at the bottom.

It takes another week for Connor to wonder if there’s something more between him and Kevin than friendship. He’s never acted like this with any of his other friends, never held their hands, shared their beds. But he isn’t sure that anything has changed; it’s still movie nights and working nearby and Kevin occasionally talking Connor out of his own head.

Kevin never considers that anything is different. He’s always been the type to walk to the ends of the earth for his friends, and that’s all he’s doing here: making sure Connor knows that people still care about him. If it helps Connor to have his hand held, or to share a bed, then that’s what they’ll do.

At least, that’s what he tells himself. Sometimes, late at night, as he lays there clutching Connor’s hand, he thinks about what else there could be. When he counts beats for Connor to breathe during panic attacks, he considers how easy it would be to draw the other man into his lap and comfort him that way.

Eventually, everything comes to a head.

* * *

They’re out buying groceries when Connor overhears a woman on the phone next to him.

“I don’t _care_ what they do, I just don’t want them doing it in front of me. No parent should have to explain to their child why Suzy has two daddies. It just isn’t natural. If it were, the good Lord would approve of it.”

Connor sucks in a breath and reaches down for Kevin’s hand. When Kevin looks up, he tips his head toward the woman. Kevin listens for a few moments before he maneuvers the cart past the woman, pulling Connor with him.

“C’mon, Con. We’ll get this in a minute.” He turns to be sure Connor is still there, and sees the woman hanging up her phone.

“Excuse me! Could the two of you not do that in public please?” Kevin and Connor ignore her as they drop boxes of Wheat Thins into their cart, but she comes up and presses a hand to Kevin’s shoulder, trying to push them apart. “Do you not realize that what you’re doing is an abomination?” It’s then that Kevin turns on her.

“Do NOT touch me! I’m not sure what you’re seeing as an ‘abomination,’ but it sure isn’t two people holding hands.”

“Two _men_ holding hands is disgusting.” She sneers and Connor steps in.

“What gives you any right to judge our lives? Are you a part of them? No? Then _stop_. We aren’t doing anything unsightly or crude.”

“You are two men, and the Lord says that men should not lie with men.”

“Doesn’t your _God_ also say to ‘love thy neighbor’? Because you don’t seem to be very neighborly right now. We haven’t done anything to deserve your treatment, and quite frankly, we don’t have to deal with it.” As the woman stands there, mouth gaping like a fish, Connor pulls Kevin out of the aisle.

The moment they turn the corner, he starts to shake and hyperventilate. The sound of his pounding heart takes over his mind, even as he can see Kevin’s lips moving as he speaks. Kevin pulls Connor to the front of the store, hurrying through the self-checkout and out to the car. Once the bags are loaded, he pulls Connor into his chest.

“Hey, hey, she’s gone now. You’re okay.” He rubs at Connor’s back as Connor burrows his face into Kevin’s neck. He’s still shaking hard, and his breathing comes in heavy pants. “One … two … three … four. Again, one … two … three … four.” This time, Connor doesn’t latch onto Kevin’s breathing. That’s when Kevin really starts to worry. He hustles Connor into the car and if he drives faster than he should to get home, well, can he really be blamed for it?

When Kevin makes it back to the apartment, he abandons the groceries to get Connor upstairs faster. He bypasses the couch and draws Connor into the bedroom, sitting him on the end of the bed. Kevin kneels down and takes Connor’s hands.

“Connor, you’ve gotta breathe for me. Can you hear me?” When Connor doesn’t reply, Kevin realizes how far gone he is. Trying hard to recall every last bit of his crisis training, Kevin holds one of Connor’s hands against his chest and takes long, exaggerated breaths. His other hand rubs Connor’s knee lightly.

It’s only a couple of minutes, but it feels like hours, before Connor shatters. He sucks in a huge breath and sobs, doubling over against Kevin’s shoulder.

“Ke- Kevin!” he gasps as Kevin releases his hand and rubs his back.

“I know, I know. You’re OK now. You’re safe. Do you know where you are?”

“Ho- Home.”

“Good. You’re home now. It’s just the two of us. Do you know what happened?”

“We were at the store, and- and a woman said _awful_ things and I yelled at her. That’s all I remember.”

“OK, that’s basically it. After that, I brought you home. It’s been about-” Kevin glances at the clock. “-20 minutes since we got home. Are you feeling better?” Connor shakes his head and falls back onto the bed.

“Lie down with me?” Connor props himself up on his elbows and looks at Kevin. “We’ve had a rough day. Let’s take a nap.”

“Yeah, OK. But I have to get the groceries out of the car first. 10 minutes?” When Connor nods, Kevin leaves the room. As he walks down to the car, his mind wanders back to earlier. 

_How could someone be so mean? She doesn’t know us; we aren’t even dating! Not that it would be different if we were – she was still hateful. And Connor, my gosh, I’ve never seen him that bad._

By the time Kevin gets the groceries inside and returns to the bedroom, Connor has curled into the fetal position. He isn’t shaking, but tears are still running down his face. Kevin moves to sit next to him on the bed.

“Con? Still want to take a nap?” When Connor nods against his own knees, Kevin moves under the covers and stretches out. He expects Connor to stick to his side of the bed, maybe grab his hand for comfort. Nothing out of the ordinary. What he doesn’t expect is for Connor to mold himself against Kevin’s side and pillow his head on Kevin’s chest.

Unsure of what to do, Kevin wraps an arm around Connor and rubs his arm until he falls asleep. He can’t be certain, but he thinks Connor might press a kiss to his chest as sleep takes him.

* * *

When Connor wakes up two hours later, he shifts slightly before remembering where he is and what happened. He considers moving, but ultimately stays. _Why look a gift horse in the mouth? Besides, people_ clearly _think we’re dating as it is._

It’s not long after this decision that Kevin begins to stir. Unconsciously, he tightens his hold on Connor, who in turn curls closer to him.

“Hey.” Kevin’s voice is thick and gravelly with sleep. Connor shouldn’t find it endearing, but he does. “Good nap?”

“Mmm, yeah. Can I ask you something?” Connor is definitely nervous, but he also knows that he can’t stand the mystery anymore.

“Of course. What’s up?”

“Do you wanna grab dinner sometime? I mean, of course you want to grab dinner. But like, with me? Uh—I know we eat dinner together every night, but not like that? Not as roommates?” Connor knows he’s putting his foot in it, so he forces himself to stop rambling.

After all, it’s hard to ramble when you’re kissing your friend/roommate/person-you-might-sort-of-have-feelings-for.

He gets three blissful seconds before Kevin gets his hands on Connor’s chest and pushes him away. It’s not harsh or forceful, but the point is proven nonetheless.

“Connor.”

“Sorry. I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—I mean, I just thought that since we—and after today—sorry.”

“Connor, it’s OK. This is normal, we learned about it in training.”

“What?”

“It’s called a rescue romance. I helped you out of a situation, you developed feelings for me. Con, it’s OK.” Kevin moves toward the bathroom. “We can just forget about it.” He closes the door behind him so Connor doesn’t hear him whisper. “Even if I don’t want to.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor starts to develop feelings for Kevin. They still hold hands every night as they fall asleep. When they're out grocery shopping, they overhear a woman saying awful, homophobic things about gay couples and try to ignore it. She confronts them, laying a hand on Kevin, and the boys tell her off. When they get out of the store, Connor comes down from the adrenaline and has another panic attack. Again, Kevin talks him down, and they take a nap. This time, instead of holding hands, Connor curls up against Kevin's side. When they wake up, Connor asks Kevin out on a date and Kevin turns him down, saying that Connor just feels this way because Kevin rescued him. He leaves the room and we learn that he has feelings for Connor as well.


	6. Chapter 6

The next couple of weeks are really rocky. Kevin and Connor are both avoiding each other, while still spending as much time together as possible. They don’t hold hands anymore, but they still share the bed. Movie nights are now spent on opposite corners of the couch, instead of pressed together knee to thigh and sharing popcorn.

Kevin is still there when Connor freaks out, but he minimizes the physical contact. Now, it’s mostly verbal reassurances. Every time, without fail, Kevin reaches for Connor but pulls back at the last second.

He thinks it might be harder now that he knows how Connor feels – _thinks he feels_ – about him. Before, he could pretend that Connor didn’t feel the same way. Now, no matter how much he tries to convince himself that it was just rescuer’s romance, Kevin can’t help but see how Connor watches him.

Now, he just has to figure out what to do about it.

* * *

 

It takes four days for Kevin to come up with a plan. It’s not perfect, heck it might not even be good, but it’s a plan.

“Hey, buddy.” Kevin sits down on the couch and faces Connor. “Got a minute?”

“What’s up?”

“Do you remember that time a little while ago when you thought you liked me?”

“And you shot me down. Yes, I’m familiar with the moment in question.”

“OK, well, the thing is, you might have noticed that I didn’t _tell_ you I didn’t like you back. As it happens, I didn’t say that because it isn’t true.”

“Kevin, I think you lost me somewhere. You don’t like me? Why was that worth noting again?”

“I don’t _not_ like you. I just wanted to be sure you were in this for me, not for the idea of me. Con, if your feelings have changed, we can figure it out and I know we still just have the one bed, but the lease is almost up and you’ll have your own room then or I can help you find somewhere else to stay. It’s really just whatever makes you comfortab-“

 

This time, Connor stops Kevin’s rambles instead of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!! You made it to the end! *waves* 
> 
> Here's hoping you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Don't forget to leave kudos and comments.
> 
> xoxo


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